Despite the fact that our family dramas are played out in billions of different variants, each of them taking place the same destructive processes that follow the same "scenario of collapse" to its logical conclusion - death, love, and final disposition of the spouses. Paradoxically, precisely this sameness and predictability gives us hope: if the disease is common, and treatment means it can be universal. And because many couples cope with this disease, so can cope and others - there is a will, backed by knowledge and diligence.
To help people experiencing family discord, have increasingly come to psychologists - not only in the West, but already we have. And this is understandable - after all, most people usually do not have anything against the services of a professional instructor, who teaches them to drive a car or skiing. But good relationships in the family - not less important and difficult art, so why not learn from him and from professionals?
In this case the best of these professionals are well aware that to solve family problems people need is not therapy as such, because marriage - is not a disease! In fact, people need to get on learning the art with each other. That's why it is so important is the role of courses and training on psychological education of couples (and those that have already experienced, and "promising").
The main thing to learn, and without which the wife can not get along - under any circumstances to remain in contact with each other, not attack each other and did not retire into himself. As you can see, it turns out that family therapy is directed against biology, programming us or respond to a counter-attack, or escape from the struggle. This fact illustrates both the difficulties of this path, and its ennobling sense.
Seeing another person
If the root is seen, the major cause of many family conflicts related to the fact that we are gradually cease to see in their half of the personality, we begin to treat it as a set of pleasant and useful functions for us. For example, a typical set of functions of her husband - to bring the salary, not to stay at work, make the trash, give gifts and flowers ... Equally typical functions of his wife - to feed dinner, housekeeping, always be gentle and ready to have sex ...
Long list of what a wife should not do: make a scene, to be discontented, to blame for a long time chatting on the phone, let play computer games, to be offended because of binge drinking with friends ... But her husband a lot of things are not supposed to: lying on the bed in street clothes, throwing scraps under the seat, include loud heavy metal, etc. .. When carrying out these "must-not" occur quite natural faults (each of us can get tired, unwell or just not be in the mood), we are angry and indignant.
Gradually, we cease to notice and appreciate the best features of our spouse (wife), because of which we, in fact, his (her) and love, perceiving them as a tribute. Instead, we focus our attention on the fact that we do not like that irritates us. Interestingly, even in happy and stable families, wives are more inclined to notice and remember the other negative traits. And here lies a serious danger of losing the vision of the whole, which is not so bad. Also, if you constantly think only of the negative traits, positive can simply erase from memory. But just as difficult periods of life does not override the happy and bad traits of our partner does not supersede good.
... Each other to admire "
Compare the two mindsets. First - when you are accustomed to think about what is missing your spouse and your relationship with him. It is obvious that these thoughts cause you annoyance, irritation, pain ... Second - when you habitually think about what your partner you like and admire what he drew you in your time and attracts now. These thoughts raise your mood and help cope with the unpleasant moments.
It is important to note that the admiration is the direct opposite of disrespect, the most dangerous of the "four horsemen of the apocalypse family." This strategy is a happy family life, number one: do not forget about the good that is associated with the spouse (wife), cultured in a positive thoughts about him (her).
It is possible to start a list of all the wonderful qualities of your spouse and think how your life would be poorer, paler and worse if she did not possess these traits. Then every time you find yourself on what you think about the wife critically, remember items from this list.
When it becomes a habit, you will surely find a dramatic change for the better in your relationship, especially if you do not keep your positive thoughts to yourself. After all, everyone loves when they praise and admire them, especially if it is done sincerely. And do not be discouraged if the first spouse (s) react to such statements with cynicism - it is not used to.
Understand yourself
Each of us has a set of unconscious expectations and assumptions about our relationship with the spouse (wife). They are formed gradually, and then what they will be very affected by a family in which we grew up. At the same time and there is often conceived our emotional problems. Not being able to solve them, we try to stuff them deeper. These expectations and concerns, however, tend to emerge in similar circumstances, and remain unconscious, may be very spoiled our lives - because people get upset when not receiving the desired, even if not very clear about what exactly they want.
One of the most common mistakes - not quite conscious to express their desires in a clear form, and secretly hope that the partner himself about them guess which almost never happens. When our frustration reaches a critical point, these desires are pushed over in an aggressive, attacking form that does not contribute to their satisfaction ...
American family psychologist Laurie Gordon had put these typical unconscious or conscious, but not the expectations expressed in the form of haiku: "If you really love me, then I must figure out what I need, and do it. Because you have not guessed, and not fulfilled, you obviously all the same. And if so, why should I care about what you think, feel, say, like, doing, etc. When will you tell me about their desires, I also will not show any interest in this ... "
Clearly, to break this vicious circle can be an honest self-examination and awareness of each of the spouses of their desires and needs related to marriage. Each of them must learn to express clearly and openly, but so as not to provoke a defensive reaction partner.
After all, one of the great paradoxes of human behavior - is that people can and want to change only when the feel that they are accepted as they are!
The art of proper dispute
The decisive factor of family well-being - the way you are arguing with each other. The main thing is, where are your arguments - to escalate the conflict or its resolution, or at least mitigate them. Right to argue hard, but it is quite possible. In the end all we can do more or less normal to discuss controversial issues with work colleagues or neighbors. It turns out that the problem is not lack of communication skills, and in an atmosphere of negativity, penetrated into the family, in which the slightest disagreement can turn into a global scandal.
As is known, is not always the direct route is the shortest. It turns out that family conflict is resolved much more successfully and productively, if the spouses are focusing not on the essence of the disputed issue, but on their emotions associated with it. The idea here is that in every conflict arises spontaneously try to break the usual cycle of negativity associated with any disagreement between the spouses, and not peddle a particular controversy. This can be achieved through such tactics.
Limit time of the dispute. First shall make no more than 15 consecutive minutes in any dispute with the condition to return to this discussion later if you fail to meet the deadline. Do not rely on an internal sense of time - in moments of emotional arousal, it brings us very - use a timer or clock.
Remain calm. It is a specific means of struggle with the emotional overflow - the greatest destroyer of family relations. Try to curb the first impulse of anger and do without direct criticism of the individual (if the criticism, then some specific behavior, and then - better to avoid this). Here, too, can not rely on feelings and should be based on objective physical indicators, especially the heart rate. Measure the pulse at the beginning of the conversation and check it every five minutes.
As soon as it will increase more than 10% (approximately 8-10 heartbeats per minute), take time out not less than 20 minutes. And do not pick a fight, not measuring the pulse and making sure that he came back to normal - people often think that is calm, while in reality they still pounding.
Agree that this sounds wildly, but as practice shows, the reception is working well, so it makes sense to at least try.
Remove the defense. Ability to listen and talk without taking up a defensive position, also reduces the risk of emotional overflow. Listen carefully to what you say and do not domyslivayte what you do not say. Try to understand the motives of the speaker - what he really concerned, worried, etc. Do not accept strong criticism addressed to you as run over and immediately plunge into a counterattack).
Correct response - consider this as a sign of urgency and seriousness of the problem for the spouse (wife). All this does not mean that you have to agree. Your task is to understand the feelings of a partner, take them as legitimate, even if you can not separate them.
Understands. Studying the family conflicts, psychologists came to the surprising conclusion that in most cases, the spouses need not exciting solution to their problem (they know that not all problems are solved), and its understanding. Therefore, there is nothing more important than the expression of empathy - empathy, the ability to see things from the perspective of another. Empathy - is the highest degree of understanding. To reach it, you can start small and go slowly. To begin to recognize their responsibility for the conflict (because of the relationships in the family always correspond to the two sides), to apologize, pay tribute to teammate ...
Follow rules of good taste. In the process of discussion should be as calmly as possible, briefly and clearly describe what is happening with your point of view. Complained better with the words "I", "me", "me" rather than "you ..." or even worse "you always ...". Express their thoughts clearly and be polite. Your speech should be positive
Do not forget to apply voshebnye words and phrases: "Please," "I think it would be nice," "I would be very pleased if you would."
Continuous training. After the first successfully carried out a dispute you may find that you have already mastered this art. Do not flatter yourself - everything else can go back to square one. Just as in any business, there are important practice and attention. We must learn the skills of communication and understanding to the extent that they do not even have evaporated during the discussion of the hottest and painful topics.
Assess your claim. Try to take a more critical not to partner, and to their claims. Maybe they are too high, or simply not feasible? Maybe you spoke to the desire to fit it under a certain standard, in which he simply can not squeeze? Maybe you could do a compromise solution? Distracted and be patient. Try to solve the problem yourself. If not, then boldly go into battle - but only in the light of all the preceding paragraphs.
Be friends
We have already talked about the importance of empathy in resolving family conflicts. Moreover, empathy - it is indeed important that we look for in marriage. We all need a partner who can always provide emotional support, a close friend, aide, twin soul ... Being good friends to be able to. To learn this art, such methods are suitable.
- Talk to each other nice things, give signs of attention - especially in small things, because of them is our life.
- Be aware of all the partner - again, to the smallest detail, which you must ask (she loves, she does not like that in real life has left a special mark that happened in childhood, etc.) and listen carefully.
- Enter a tradition every evening for half an hour telling each other about the events of the past day, problems at work, relatives, friends. This saves the couple from the "habitual neglect", converting them into random passengers. It is important to note that conflict with others should always take the side of their partner - even when it is clearly not right. If you do the opposite, it will cause resentment, because he was counting on your support. Later, in a calm atmosphere, you can return to this issue and gently point out the mistakes were noticed.
But the initial reaction should proceed from the principle of "we're at the same time, even if the whole world against us."
- Friendship is democratic - one of the spouses shall not apply to the usurpation of power. Families in which the husband (or wife) is too keen on the role of head of household, are much less stable than those in which both spouses are behaving tolerantly.
Spouses as architects of their family
The world is changing rapidly, and if before the role of men and women in the family of rigidly dictated by culture, in modern society there is nothing hard: not only the family but also other social roles are changing on the fly. So instead of looking for the solution along the lines of "like everyone else," based on "generally accepted" norms, customs, or opinions of relatives, spouses need to develop their own style of relationships and the way roles suitable for them both, especially with the calm and respectful conversation with each other.
No need to pack his family into the Procrustean bed of stereotypes. Thus, there are men who are not too good at the role of breadwinner. Instead of constantly nagging a husband to his wife makes more sense to do your own career, which would provide the family and, most importantly, do not worry about it and not be considered a loser husband and a rag. Perhaps he turns to get along well with children and the household - so why not give him the responsibility for these areas of family life?
Whatever the distribution of roles in each family, everyone will benefit from the invention and introduction of special family rituals. For example, assign from time to time meeting each other somewhere outside the home. Do not neglect to meet friends, participate in holiday events.
Special notes (even the most modest way) everything, even the small successes of each other (if the partner does not hasten to note your success, become the initiator of themselves). In short, become the architect of his own thoughts, feelings, relationships and, consequently, his family. In the end, it depends on you, what will your family life ...
Monday, November 23, 2009
Spa novel - a tale and reality. How to get rid of love?
Spa novels give us the opportunity to experience the whole gamut of emotions. But few people know how to properly and safely through the end of this novel
Each of us, going on holiday, hopes to meet on vacation ITS, to experience the passion and jealousy, longing and desperation. And that spa novels give us the opportunity to experience the whole gamut of emotions. But few of us know how to correctly and safely through the end of this novel, although we realize initially that someday, as if to be exact - two weeks later he graduated, and most that come on there is a real, common-usual life.
How to find the balance after a madman novel on holiday? How not to plunge into a depression?
One recipe at all, unfortunately, no. Each of us will experience this separation is stronger than the others, because it is your love was real, the feelings were the most sincere and the pain of separation is the most unbearable. And in that moment, when it wants to weep openly in the workplace, to drop everything and go to their Arab sheik for good, is still put into practice a few tips.
First, you and you understand that for him, your old gentleman, the time spent with you was a beautiful fairy tale, the repetition of which in everyday life is impossible and even undesirable. Too high passions, too difficult in this tale male role. Therefore, you should not be very upset about the separation and the absence of letters, because they reasoned sensibly, you will realize that your belief that you love him any, are not entirely justified. After all, you need not "any", namely that: "calm, confident, courteous ..." etc. And it is this, perhaps, simply did not exist in nature. So he was far away from everyday life, work problems.
Caution - men!
I must say that apart from the sudden end of a holiday romance there is another negative point, which you fortunately escaped. Not always and not all men perceive harmless flirting women on vacation quite adequately. Very often it happens that the slightest signs of attention perceived as the obligation of proximity. In such cases, it can reach the use of force. And instead brought a fairy tale - one more psychotrauma. Only a competent and rational behavior by women, where verified, perhaps intuitively, every gesture, every glance, every word, can help avoid such troubles and to make sure that everything was done only by voluntary agreement. You have succeeded brilliantly? This too can be considered as a positive factor.
Do not forget that women have lots of ways to change themselves, which significantly affects its health. Men have a few choices there, well, would not they dye his hair red in color and patterns tweeze eyebrows! And here we are - we can. So - change. Anything from hair color to work. A sort of a new stage in life, with a clean slate, but with the summer energy charge.
Crying is recommended!
But! Do not run away from thoughts about his character, from the tears of suffering. Every psychologist will tell you that healthy depressed at parting is the norm. This depression is not a disease but an original work. And this suffering can not be circumvented. Quickly get rid of the pain can be only one way: to live it in its entirety as soon as possible and to clear my head. Attempts to escape from it, only extended heavy feeling in the months and years. Therefore - weep, weep much. Once you are terribly bored.
Quite recently, surf the World Wide Web, I stumbled on some soulful romance, began to read not at first, but eventually became involved, even ordered a book through the online store. Imagine my surprise that the author, an ordinary girl who ran away from the depression that befell her as a result of the finished resort novel! This same idea, I thought, but I resort novels so far, alas, is not expected.
Share your sorrow!
But if you have it planned or already been and you're in grief and tears - you then the green light. Beret, open a blog in LJ or other resources, and describe your novel with taste, with gusto, in all detail. Live through again, as you saw, as he looked at you as you are ... Not what you all pour out of themselves, maybe even porydaete front of the monitor from the surging of memories, both still and become the most widely read author, practically - Star!
Another smart option to cope with love, suddenly nagryanuvshey, an online forum. Oh, it's generally a very good thing, I tell you. There are two to three actively attending antenatal sites, leads there to the name of the theme "love with dying, there podrobnenko describe his love and, most importantly, do not forget to remember something that is not very good, for example, if during a perfect novel, your chosen one once sniffed in your handkerchief, or, for example, once drunk to pig squeal, asked you to "stimulate" and ... fell asleep. But write it in the context of the series: "He is so cute .. so cute ... the handkerchief, which he blew his nose, I keep up to date ..".
Everything's done! Women are largely in solidarity with each other, this time, and secondly, the speed of speech addressed to his chosen one showing, what he did ... and radish did not appreciate you, you will not hear anywhere else. Having read a few pages of these reviews very soon and you'll see that he is, your hero - a radish.
Smile, and go on time!
If you only have to go on holiday, and you suspect that you must tighten some mad love affair with local natives, remember one important and interesting thing: there is a psychological trick: force yourself to smile and my heart just warmer. Same thing with declarations of love: if you are five times say "love", then on the sixth yourself to believe it. Therefore met, do not translate to other relationships rails. No need to convince itself in eternal love to his new friend, and then believe it themselves, and they themselves will suffer.
And yet - get out in time. As soon feel that your relationship becomes too close Well, different personal details become the property of each other - go to the sea, the mountains, to the disco, quadrille new boyfriend, but go away. You have come to rest, and not a load problem, and now applies to everything easier.
Area love.
And finally just need to know what's going on with you actually. From the standpoint of science has long proven that people love in the brain in the zone of "love" is to develop a substance known as dopamine, makes people strongly desire something or expect compensation for anything. Previously dopamine was studied on the example of gamblers, and then studies have shown that the gain resulted in a sudden outburst of this substance. In the case of love it turned out that the sharp selection of dopamine makes us feel for a man of passion, desire, lust, sometimes going beyond the control of reason. In its quest to achieve reciprocity we go ready to go at all.
Interestingly, "Love Zone" was placed in our brain the same place where there are the main centers that regulate a person's need for food and water. So love, in fact, can be compared to itself that on is a natural requirement.
In the case of separation from their beloved or break with it the reaction of the brain, tends to be extremely active. Dopamine creates the desire to be near her beloved, and his (favorite) the actual absence creates a tragic contradiction of desires and needs. Scientists have proved that and so long known: love does not depend on reason and deal with it is useless. A relative comfort for all emerging from the gap with a favorite may be the fact that, in the opinion of people of high intelligence, at least unrequited love can not be eternal. Reaction zone "love" to throw you the object is gradually becoming less violent, and then, as a rule, and did stop. And your brain gets the freedom to search for new love.
So weep as your heart's need, but do not forget one thing: this love, like a runny nose: If you treat him, he held for seven days, and if not treated, for the week.
Other than you being unrealistic and attractive!
Each of us, going on holiday, hopes to meet on vacation ITS, to experience the passion and jealousy, longing and desperation. And that spa novels give us the opportunity to experience the whole gamut of emotions. But few of us know how to correctly and safely through the end of this novel, although we realize initially that someday, as if to be exact - two weeks later he graduated, and most that come on there is a real, common-usual life.
How to find the balance after a madman novel on holiday? How not to plunge into a depression?
One recipe at all, unfortunately, no. Each of us will experience this separation is stronger than the others, because it is your love was real, the feelings were the most sincere and the pain of separation is the most unbearable. And in that moment, when it wants to weep openly in the workplace, to drop everything and go to their Arab sheik for good, is still put into practice a few tips.
First, you and you understand that for him, your old gentleman, the time spent with you was a beautiful fairy tale, the repetition of which in everyday life is impossible and even undesirable. Too high passions, too difficult in this tale male role. Therefore, you should not be very upset about the separation and the absence of letters, because they reasoned sensibly, you will realize that your belief that you love him any, are not entirely justified. After all, you need not "any", namely that: "calm, confident, courteous ..." etc. And it is this, perhaps, simply did not exist in nature. So he was far away from everyday life, work problems.
Caution - men!
I must say that apart from the sudden end of a holiday romance there is another negative point, which you fortunately escaped. Not always and not all men perceive harmless flirting women on vacation quite adequately. Very often it happens that the slightest signs of attention perceived as the obligation of proximity. In such cases, it can reach the use of force. And instead brought a fairy tale - one more psychotrauma. Only a competent and rational behavior by women, where verified, perhaps intuitively, every gesture, every glance, every word, can help avoid such troubles and to make sure that everything was done only by voluntary agreement. You have succeeded brilliantly? This too can be considered as a positive factor.
Do not forget that women have lots of ways to change themselves, which significantly affects its health. Men have a few choices there, well, would not they dye his hair red in color and patterns tweeze eyebrows! And here we are - we can. So - change. Anything from hair color to work. A sort of a new stage in life, with a clean slate, but with the summer energy charge.
Crying is recommended!
But! Do not run away from thoughts about his character, from the tears of suffering. Every psychologist will tell you that healthy depressed at parting is the norm. This depression is not a disease but an original work. And this suffering can not be circumvented. Quickly get rid of the pain can be only one way: to live it in its entirety as soon as possible and to clear my head. Attempts to escape from it, only extended heavy feeling in the months and years. Therefore - weep, weep much. Once you are terribly bored.
Quite recently, surf the World Wide Web, I stumbled on some soulful romance, began to read not at first, but eventually became involved, even ordered a book through the online store. Imagine my surprise that the author, an ordinary girl who ran away from the depression that befell her as a result of the finished resort novel! This same idea, I thought, but I resort novels so far, alas, is not expected.
Share your sorrow!
But if you have it planned or already been and you're in grief and tears - you then the green light. Beret, open a blog in LJ or other resources, and describe your novel with taste, with gusto, in all detail. Live through again, as you saw, as he looked at you as you are ... Not what you all pour out of themselves, maybe even porydaete front of the monitor from the surging of memories, both still and become the most widely read author, practically - Star!
Another smart option to cope with love, suddenly nagryanuvshey, an online forum. Oh, it's generally a very good thing, I tell you. There are two to three actively attending antenatal sites, leads there to the name of the theme "love with dying, there podrobnenko describe his love and, most importantly, do not forget to remember something that is not very good, for example, if during a perfect novel, your chosen one once sniffed in your handkerchief, or, for example, once drunk to pig squeal, asked you to "stimulate" and ... fell asleep. But write it in the context of the series: "He is so cute .. so cute ... the handkerchief, which he blew his nose, I keep up to date ..".
Everything's done! Women are largely in solidarity with each other, this time, and secondly, the speed of speech addressed to his chosen one showing, what he did ... and radish did not appreciate you, you will not hear anywhere else. Having read a few pages of these reviews very soon and you'll see that he is, your hero - a radish.
Smile, and go on time!
If you only have to go on holiday, and you suspect that you must tighten some mad love affair with local natives, remember one important and interesting thing: there is a psychological trick: force yourself to smile and my heart just warmer. Same thing with declarations of love: if you are five times say "love", then on the sixth yourself to believe it. Therefore met, do not translate to other relationships rails. No need to convince itself in eternal love to his new friend, and then believe it themselves, and they themselves will suffer.
And yet - get out in time. As soon feel that your relationship becomes too close Well, different personal details become the property of each other - go to the sea, the mountains, to the disco, quadrille new boyfriend, but go away. You have come to rest, and not a load problem, and now applies to everything easier.
Area love.
And finally just need to know what's going on with you actually. From the standpoint of science has long proven that people love in the brain in the zone of "love" is to develop a substance known as dopamine, makes people strongly desire something or expect compensation for anything. Previously dopamine was studied on the example of gamblers, and then studies have shown that the gain resulted in a sudden outburst of this substance. In the case of love it turned out that the sharp selection of dopamine makes us feel for a man of passion, desire, lust, sometimes going beyond the control of reason. In its quest to achieve reciprocity we go ready to go at all.
Interestingly, "Love Zone" was placed in our brain the same place where there are the main centers that regulate a person's need for food and water. So love, in fact, can be compared to itself that on is a natural requirement.
In the case of separation from their beloved or break with it the reaction of the brain, tends to be extremely active. Dopamine creates the desire to be near her beloved, and his (favorite) the actual absence creates a tragic contradiction of desires and needs. Scientists have proved that and so long known: love does not depend on reason and deal with it is useless. A relative comfort for all emerging from the gap with a favorite may be the fact that, in the opinion of people of high intelligence, at least unrequited love can not be eternal. Reaction zone "love" to throw you the object is gradually becoming less violent, and then, as a rule, and did stop. And your brain gets the freedom to search for new love.
So weep as your heart's need, but do not forget one thing: this love, like a runny nose: If you treat him, he held for seven days, and if not treated, for the week.
Other than you being unrealistic and attractive!
Full list of why you need sex
For fans of abstinence came joyless tidings. If abstaining from sex and useful, that is only from a spiritual point of view. It is no good for the body is not abstinence, wrote an influential American publication Forbes (translation site Inopressa.ru).
The best that modern science can say about sexual abstinence, is the fact that it is harmless in moderate quantities. Conversely, a regular healthy sex makes a lot of advantages, both men and women (of course, it is assumed that in this case you do not catch any sexually transmitted infection).
Specialists at Queen's University in Belfast, a study was conducted in which they have traced the dependence of the overall health of the regularity of sexual intercourse. Thus researchers analyzed data on deaths among approximately 1000 middle-aged men over a decade. Objective studies - comparing people of the same economic status, age and health, but sexually active varying intensity. The results were published in 1997 in the journal British Medical Journal. It was found that among men who had the most orgasms, mortality rates were half lower than those who never had sex.
But there are other studies, more or less scientific, which also seek to prove that having sex even a few times a week, a favorable effect on health:
- Improves sense of smell. After sex increases the production of the hormone prolactin. This, in turn, causes stem cells in the brain to form new neurons in the olfactory center.
- Reduces the risk of heart disease. Following the above study at Queen's University in 2001, scientists have focused their attention on the cardiovascular system. They found that men who have sex three times a week or more, the likelihood of heart attack and stroke is reduced by half.
- Weight loss, overall fitness. Sex - it is also exercise. A vigorous bout burns some 200 calories - about the same as running 15 minutes on a treadmill or a game of squash. A person aroused, the pulse rate increases from 70 to 150 beats per minute, the same as that of an athlete putting forth maximum effort. In addition, muscle contractions during intercourse developing pelvis, thighs, buttocks, arms and chest. Sex also boosts production of testosterone, which leads to stronger bones and muscles. Men's Health magazine even named the bed "the best exercise equipment ever invented.
- Decreases depression. Is the result of a study conducted in 2002 among 293 women. American psychologist Gordon Gallup reported that sexually active women whose partners during sexual acts are not using condoms were less subject to depression than those women whose partners used a condom. One possible explanation of this dependence is that Prostoglandin - a hormone found in semen - is absorbed in the female genital tract, thus modulating female hormones.
- Anesthesia. Immediately before orgasm, levels of the hormone oxytocin surge to five times compared to their normal level. This, in turn, leads to the formation of endorphins, which have an analgesic effect in any type of pain, ranging from head and ending with the pain of arthritis to even migraine. In women, sex also prompts production of estrogen, which can reduce the pain associated with PMS.
- Decreases the probability of influenza and colds. At Wilkes University, Wilkes University in Pennsylvania has produced a study, according to which people who have sex once or twice a week, the amount of antibody called immunoglobulin A was 30% higher than that of those who engage in them less frequently. These antibodies are known so that they strengthen the immune system.
- Improving the state of the bladder. Heard of Dr. Kegel exercises for the muscles of genitals? You do them without even realizing it, every time you stem your flow of urine. So, those same muscles are worked during sexual intercourse.
- Improving the state of the teeth. In spermoplazme contains zinc, calcium and other minerals that have been shown to retard tooth decay. Caring for children, we will not specify how these minerals reach their goal. Suffice it to say that such a method, perhaps, is more effective, and most importantly - a more satisfying experience than squeezing a toothpaste. By the way, the scientists found that the rules of hygiene requires brushing your teeth before or after intercourse, which in itself contributes to maintaining healthy teeth.
- Prostate health. Some urologists believe that there is a correlation between frequency of ejaculation and cancer of the prostate gland. The arguments are as follows: for the production of semen prostate and seminal vesicles are removed from the blood substances such as zinc, citric acid, potassium, and then increasing their concentration up to 600 times. Carcinogens are also present in the blood, too concentrated. Instead of keeping these concentrated carcinogens in the body better rid of them. This can be done through good old sex. However, if your goal is only a cleansing of the prostate, then the best will do masturbate, especially if you have multiple partners, since having sex with multiple partners, by itself, may increase the risk of cancer by 40 percent. This is due to the fact that there is a risk of contracting sexually transmitted diseases. So if you want to take advantage of the purification of the prostate gland without associated risk, Try hands. The study, published recently in the British Journal of Urology International asserts that men in the 20 years of age due to ejaculation more than five times a week for one-third lower probability of cancer of the prostate.
At the time, like a big sexual appetite and physical opportunity to meet him are not always ideal indicators of health, the unwillingness to have sexual intercourse may be a sign that not everything is in place in the body, especially if the reason for this reluctance is a weak erection.
Urologist J. Francois Eid indicates that there is a link between violations of erection and operation of the cardiovascular system. Difficulties with erection of the penis may be an indication that somewhere in the body there are sick blood vessels. "This could be the first sign of hypertension, diabetes or high cholesterol. This is a signal to make to see a doctor." Treatment and exercise can correct the situation, says Dr. Eid: "Men who play sports and who have a good heart and low heart rate, have a full erection."
But can there be too much sex?
Answer (with the number of physiological point of view) is: if you are a woman, then perhaps not. Well, if you're a man, it all depends on your abilities. Dr. Claire Bailey of the University of Bristol said that it is unlikely that women can, if so, get "overdose" of sex. Regular practice of sex, she says, not only strengthen the stomach and buttocks but also improve posture.
Dr. George Winch Jr., an obstetrician-gynecologist, agrees. If the woman had not reached menopause and physically healthy, then the additional classes have sex - not a problem. "I do not think that a woman can reach the point where sex is too much - he said. - Provided that no sexually transmitted diseases and pregnancy. True, there are sometimes problems with lubrication. In this case can be formed of irritation and abrasions .
At the same time, women who abstain from sex, expose themselves to certain risks. After menopause, it can be expressed in vaginal atrophy. Dr. Winch talks about one of his female patients of middle age: "She has not had sex in over three years. She just was not interested in it. The opening of her vagina is narrowed. This may lead to dispaurenii or pain during intercourse. I told her : "You better buy a vibrator, and not be worse."
As regards men, urologist Eid says that they may "bend the stick, especially when drugs like Viagra, give men more sexual power than can be useful for them.
The penis, says Dr. Eid, amazingly flexible, but everything has limits. When excessive load may experience penile tissue damage, and irreversible.
But can there be too much sex?
Answer (with the number of physiological point of view) is: if you are a woman, then perhaps not. Well, if you're a man, it all depends on your abilities. Dr. Claire Bailey of the University of Bristol said that it is unlikely that women can, if so, get "overdose" of sex. Regular practice of sex, she says, not only strengthen the stomach and buttocks but also improve posture.
Dr. George Winch Jr., an obstetrician-gynecologist, agrees. If the woman had not reached menopause and physically healthy, then the additional classes have sex - not a problem. "I do not think that a woman can reach the point where sex is too much - he said. - Provided that no sexually transmitted diseases and pregnancy. True, there are sometimes problems with lubrication. In this case can be formed of irritation and abrasions .
At the same time, women who abstain from sex, expose themselves to certain risks. After menopause, it can be expressed in vaginal atrophy. Dr. Winch talks about one of his female patients of middle age: "She has not had sex in over three years. She just was not interested in it. The opening of her vagina is narrowed. This may lead to dispaurenii or pain during intercourse. I told her : "You better buy a vibrator, and not be worse."
As regards men, urologist Eid says that they may "bend the stick, especially when drugs like Viagra, give men more sexual power than can be useful for them.
The penis, says Dr. Eid, amazingly flexible, but everything has limits. When excessive load may experience penile tissue damage, and irreversible.
"The young man who is very strong, and who likes rough sex, could damage the cavernous body," - he says. Drugs increase the hardness of the penis, in addition, they allow men to have second and third orgasms without interruption.
There is an explanation of why the penis becomes flaccid. It thus rests. The blood inside him once again filled with oxygen. "During an erection, - explains Eid, - penis there is very little blood. Tissue to relax, to get oxygen. If you do not give them a rest, they are not getting enough oxygen."
The best that modern science can say about sexual abstinence, is the fact that it is harmless in moderate quantities. Conversely, a regular healthy sex makes a lot of advantages, both men and women (of course, it is assumed that in this case you do not catch any sexually transmitted infection).
Specialists at Queen's University in Belfast, a study was conducted in which they have traced the dependence of the overall health of the regularity of sexual intercourse. Thus researchers analyzed data on deaths among approximately 1000 middle-aged men over a decade. Objective studies - comparing people of the same economic status, age and health, but sexually active varying intensity. The results were published in 1997 in the journal British Medical Journal. It was found that among men who had the most orgasms, mortality rates were half lower than those who never had sex.
But there are other studies, more or less scientific, which also seek to prove that having sex even a few times a week, a favorable effect on health:
- Improves sense of smell. After sex increases the production of the hormone prolactin. This, in turn, causes stem cells in the brain to form new neurons in the olfactory center.
- Reduces the risk of heart disease. Following the above study at Queen's University in 2001, scientists have focused their attention on the cardiovascular system. They found that men who have sex three times a week or more, the likelihood of heart attack and stroke is reduced by half.
- Weight loss, overall fitness. Sex - it is also exercise. A vigorous bout burns some 200 calories - about the same as running 15 minutes on a treadmill or a game of squash. A person aroused, the pulse rate increases from 70 to 150 beats per minute, the same as that of an athlete putting forth maximum effort. In addition, muscle contractions during intercourse developing pelvis, thighs, buttocks, arms and chest. Sex also boosts production of testosterone, which leads to stronger bones and muscles. Men's Health magazine even named the bed "the best exercise equipment ever invented.
- Decreases depression. Is the result of a study conducted in 2002 among 293 women. American psychologist Gordon Gallup reported that sexually active women whose partners during sexual acts are not using condoms were less subject to depression than those women whose partners used a condom. One possible explanation of this dependence is that Prostoglandin - a hormone found in semen - is absorbed in the female genital tract, thus modulating female hormones.
- Anesthesia. Immediately before orgasm, levels of the hormone oxytocin surge to five times compared to their normal level. This, in turn, leads to the formation of endorphins, which have an analgesic effect in any type of pain, ranging from head and ending with the pain of arthritis to even migraine. In women, sex also prompts production of estrogen, which can reduce the pain associated with PMS.
- Decreases the probability of influenza and colds. At Wilkes University, Wilkes University in Pennsylvania has produced a study, according to which people who have sex once or twice a week, the amount of antibody called immunoglobulin A was 30% higher than that of those who engage in them less frequently. These antibodies are known so that they strengthen the immune system.
- Improving the state of the bladder. Heard of Dr. Kegel exercises for the muscles of genitals? You do them without even realizing it, every time you stem your flow of urine. So, those same muscles are worked during sexual intercourse.
- Improving the state of the teeth. In spermoplazme contains zinc, calcium and other minerals that have been shown to retard tooth decay. Caring for children, we will not specify how these minerals reach their goal. Suffice it to say that such a method, perhaps, is more effective, and most importantly - a more satisfying experience than squeezing a toothpaste. By the way, the scientists found that the rules of hygiene requires brushing your teeth before or after intercourse, which in itself contributes to maintaining healthy teeth.
- Prostate health. Some urologists believe that there is a correlation between frequency of ejaculation and cancer of the prostate gland. The arguments are as follows: for the production of semen prostate and seminal vesicles are removed from the blood substances such as zinc, citric acid, potassium, and then increasing their concentration up to 600 times. Carcinogens are also present in the blood, too concentrated. Instead of keeping these concentrated carcinogens in the body better rid of them. This can be done through good old sex. However, if your goal is only a cleansing of the prostate, then the best will do masturbate, especially if you have multiple partners, since having sex with multiple partners, by itself, may increase the risk of cancer by 40 percent. This is due to the fact that there is a risk of contracting sexually transmitted diseases. So if you want to take advantage of the purification of the prostate gland without associated risk, Try hands. The study, published recently in the British Journal of Urology International asserts that men in the 20 years of age due to ejaculation more than five times a week for one-third lower probability of cancer of the prostate.
At the time, like a big sexual appetite and physical opportunity to meet him are not always ideal indicators of health, the unwillingness to have sexual intercourse may be a sign that not everything is in place in the body, especially if the reason for this reluctance is a weak erection.
Urologist J. Francois Eid indicates that there is a link between violations of erection and operation of the cardiovascular system. Difficulties with erection of the penis may be an indication that somewhere in the body there are sick blood vessels. "This could be the first sign of hypertension, diabetes or high cholesterol. This is a signal to make to see a doctor." Treatment and exercise can correct the situation, says Dr. Eid: "Men who play sports and who have a good heart and low heart rate, have a full erection."
But can there be too much sex?
Answer (with the number of physiological point of view) is: if you are a woman, then perhaps not. Well, if you're a man, it all depends on your abilities. Dr. Claire Bailey of the University of Bristol said that it is unlikely that women can, if so, get "overdose" of sex. Regular practice of sex, she says, not only strengthen the stomach and buttocks but also improve posture.
Dr. George Winch Jr., an obstetrician-gynecologist, agrees. If the woman had not reached menopause and physically healthy, then the additional classes have sex - not a problem. "I do not think that a woman can reach the point where sex is too much - he said. - Provided that no sexually transmitted diseases and pregnancy. True, there are sometimes problems with lubrication. In this case can be formed of irritation and abrasions .
At the same time, women who abstain from sex, expose themselves to certain risks. After menopause, it can be expressed in vaginal atrophy. Dr. Winch talks about one of his female patients of middle age: "She has not had sex in over three years. She just was not interested in it. The opening of her vagina is narrowed. This may lead to dispaurenii or pain during intercourse. I told her : "You better buy a vibrator, and not be worse."
As regards men, urologist Eid says that they may "bend the stick, especially when drugs like Viagra, give men more sexual power than can be useful for them.
The penis, says Dr. Eid, amazingly flexible, but everything has limits. When excessive load may experience penile tissue damage, and irreversible.
But can there be too much sex?
Answer (with the number of physiological point of view) is: if you are a woman, then perhaps not. Well, if you're a man, it all depends on your abilities. Dr. Claire Bailey of the University of Bristol said that it is unlikely that women can, if so, get "overdose" of sex. Regular practice of sex, she says, not only strengthen the stomach and buttocks but also improve posture.
Dr. George Winch Jr., an obstetrician-gynecologist, agrees. If the woman had not reached menopause and physically healthy, then the additional classes have sex - not a problem. "I do not think that a woman can reach the point where sex is too much - he said. - Provided that no sexually transmitted diseases and pregnancy. True, there are sometimes problems with lubrication. In this case can be formed of irritation and abrasions .
At the same time, women who abstain from sex, expose themselves to certain risks. After menopause, it can be expressed in vaginal atrophy. Dr. Winch talks about one of his female patients of middle age: "She has not had sex in over three years. She just was not interested in it. The opening of her vagina is narrowed. This may lead to dispaurenii or pain during intercourse. I told her : "You better buy a vibrator, and not be worse."
As regards men, urologist Eid says that they may "bend the stick, especially when drugs like Viagra, give men more sexual power than can be useful for them.
The penis, says Dr. Eid, amazingly flexible, but everything has limits. When excessive load may experience penile tissue damage, and irreversible.
"The young man who is very strong, and who likes rough sex, could damage the cavernous body," - he says. Drugs increase the hardness of the penis, in addition, they allow men to have second and third orgasms without interruption.
There is an explanation of why the penis becomes flaccid. It thus rests. The blood inside him once again filled with oxygen. "During an erection, - explains Eid, - penis there is very little blood. Tissue to relax, to get oxygen. If you do not give them a rest, they are not getting enough oxygen."
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